Hope Rising Read online

  “What will you do now?” After his silence, the question seemed to trumpet across the lawn. Evelyn checked to be sure they were still safe from listening ears. No one appeared to be paying them any attention.

  “Actually…” She tried to muster a smile, but it fell flat. “You may be able to help with that.”

  “Me?”

  Did she mistake the smallest hardening of his jaw? Needles of fear prickled along her arms, increasing the panicked thud of her pulse and robbing the air around her of its heat. Had she misread his kindness earlier? The pause between them stretched on as doubt settled in the pit of her stomach. Could she make him understand, persuade him to agree? She had no other recourse. He must know that. Evelyn wiped her damp palms against her apron. If nothing else, Joel’s friendship with Ralph would surely convince him to consider her offer.

  Clinging to that hope, she leaned forward, ready to press her suit. “The way I see it, we can help each other. I want to avoid disappointing my grandparents and being transferred to the front while I’m with child. And you want a family of your own, which you can no longer have.” His face remained unchanged, but she saw his eyes narrow with what she could only guess must be grief and anger. “What I’m offering is a child to call your own, Joel.”

  He sat very still. Long enough to incite fresh dread in Evelyn. “Are you suggesting, you and I marry, Nurse Gray?”

  His use of her title felt as shrewd as a slap. But she wouldn’t be cowed by his initial reaction. The man was allowed some degree of incredulity. “That is exactly what I’m suggesting.” She drew herself up in her chair and met his hard gaze. “We may not know each other well yet, but I believe a marriage of contentment and happiness is possible. It would fulfill both our desires for the future.”

  “You’re mistaken if you think you know what I desire for my future.” His countenance had grown as stony as the hospital behind them, his words clipped and brittle. “A marriage of convenience is not the solution.”

  “But it would save us both,” she pleaded.

  “At what cost?” Joel countered. “Neither of us deserves a loveless marriage. Can’t you see that?”

  She was losing his interest, if she’d ever had it to begin with. “Even to be a father?”

  He shook his head. “That’s only trading one source of happiness for another. I couldn’t live that way, Evelyn. And in the end, I don’t think you could either.” She tried to muster up some relief that he’d gone back to calling her by her first name, but she felt as flattened as a punctured tire.

  “What about Ralph?” It was her final attempt at persuasion.

  Joel looked away, his expression pained. “You’ll always have my friendship because of what you meant to Ralph.” He managed to climb to his feet without her assistance. “But that’s not reason enough for us to marry. I’m sorry.”

  He hobbled forward with the help of his cane. Evelyn let him go, too numb to care how he managed to get himself back to his wheelchair and into the hospital. Her plan had failed. She’d pinned all her hopes on Joel, but to no avail. He didn’t want her.

  Tears threatened to spill, but she wouldn’t release them in view of everyone outside. She rose from her chair and discreetly headed for the woods. Once alone, and no longer able to hear the sounds from the hospital, she sank between the gnarled roots of an old tree and let the sobs flow freely.

  “I tried, little one,” she whispered, one hand on her belly.

  There were only two choices now. She could leave this very minute or she could meet with Sister Marcelle and accept whatever fate was dealt her. Perhaps the head sister didn’t know her secret yet. Evelyn could take whatever reprimand Sister Marcelle might issue for ending a shift early, if she could stay a little longer and put off facing her grandparents.

  Determined to leave only when made to, she dried her eyes with the back of her hand and stood. Her future might be uncertain, but one thing was clear: She would never speak to or interact with Joel Campbell as long as she remained at the hospital. That decision alone gave her the courage to leave the safety of the trees and prepare herself to face Sister Marcelle.

  Chapter 5

  Evelyn stood outside Sister Marcelle’s office at two minutes to three o’clock. She’d procured some bread and tea earlier from the kitchen staff, which thankfully had settled her stomach. Her hands felt sweaty again and her heart beat a nervous pace, but she was resigned to face the sister’s potential wrath and answer any questions as vaguely as possible.

  She drew in a deep breath and let it out as she knocked firmly on the door.

  “Come in,” Sister Marcelle called out.

  Evelyn opened the door and stepped inside. Would she ever feel at home in this tiny room, or always fear being summoned here?

  The sister glanced up from where she sat writing at her table. “May I help you, Nurse Gray?”

  “Nurse Thornton said you wished to speak with me.”

  Sister Marcelle studied her a moment. “Oh, yes.” She returned to scribbling something on the paper in front of her and didn’t bother to look up as she said, “You have been relieved of your current position.”

  Only one reason could account for her being dismissed, without explanation—Sister Marcelle had learned about the baby. Evelyn took a halting step backward. Her knees knocked against a chair and she dropped onto it. She couldn’t seem to draw a full breath. The light streaming in from the window began to fracture before her eyes. She was going to faint, right here in the head sister’s office.

  She clutched the edges of the chair as hard as she could until the black particles edging her vision faded. She had to know who suspected her pregnancy and had revealed it to the head sister. Surely not Joel, though he might have after their disastrous conversation earlier.

  “Why am I being let go?”

  “Because of your expertise.”

  My expertise? A startled laugh bubbled up toward her lips, though she managed to curtail it. Sister Marcelle didn’t know about the baby. Her relief cut every bit as deep and decisive as her fear a moment ago. She could stay. The desire to throw her arms around the head sister nearly propelled her out of her chair. Instead she squeezed her hands together to stem her giddy energy. “I’m not sure I understand.”

  Sister Marcelle set down her pen. “Sister Monique has returned, earlier than expected. Which means we no longer need you on the night shift.”

  “Where would you like me then?” Hope leapt inside her, but Evelyn tried to rein in the feeling. Surely someone had mentioned her leaving early this morning. There would still be some repercussions from that decision, wouldn’t there?

  “Dr. Dupont has requested you work with him in surgery.” Sister Marcelle placed the paper on top of the neat pile at her elbow and smiled kindly at Evelyn. “He feels the other nurses currently working with him could use your maturity and experience in improving their own skills.”

  For the first time in days, Evelyn matched the sister’s smile with a genuine one of her own.

  “Until we receive another group of soldiers, there are no scheduled surgeries at present. Dr. Dupont will let you know when you are needed in his surgery room.” Sister Marcelle picked up another paper and placed it front and center on the table. “In the meantime, I would like you to serve in the recovery ward, with those soldiers who are working to regain their mobility before going to the convalescent home.”

  Evelyn didn’t mind the new assignment, in surgery or the recovery ward. Hadn’t she enjoyed watching Joel make progress today? Her smile froze as she realized exactly whom she would be working with. Joel’s severe words from earlier rang through her head: You’re mistaken if you think you know what I desire for my future. A marriage of convenience is not the solution.

  Sister Marcelle’s voice interrupted the bitter reverie. “Dr. Dupont asked that you head to his surgery room now, so he may show you how he handles things there.”

  Evelyn rose to her feet. “Thank you, Sister Marcelle.”

/>   “You’re welcome, child.” She lifted her pen again. “I know the night shift is not easy, especially when one is feeling a bit under the weather.”

  The remark stopped Evelyn in her retreat. So the head sister did know about Evelyn leaving her shift early. Sister Marcelle didn’t look upset or annoyed, though.

  “If you need to rest again after you meet with Dr. Dupont,” the sister said, leaning over her page, “I want you to do so. I need my best nurses in tip-top shape.”

  “I’ll see how I’m feeling,” Evelyn managed to say evenly, despite her joy over the suggestion. “Thank you again.”

  She slipped out the door and down the first flight of stairs. In the stairwell, she paused to lean against the wall, allowing her hopes to rise unencumbered by her earlier doubts and fears. Now she would be able to get the rest she so desperately needed, instead of staying up all night. The new arrangement couldn’t be more perfect, except for having to see Joel on a regular basis. Still, Evelyn felt confident she could get Nurse Shaw or one of the other recovery ward nurses to help him instead.

  She pushed away from the wall and descended the stairs toward the surgery rooms, her head held high. Joel might have sabotaged her earlier plan, but she wasn’t going anywhere without a fight.

  * * *

  By the time supper rolled around, Joel’s exuberance over his progress that afternoon had cooled considerably. Not only did every one of his injuries hurt, but every time he thought of Evelyn’s proposition, his jaw clenched in anger. The repetitive action meant his face now ached along with the rest of his body. Even the hearty stew he was allowed to eat couldn’t perk up his bad mood.

  He stabbed his spoon into the bowl and brought a bite to his mouth, wishing it were some of his mother’s fried chicken and buttery rolls. The stew burned his tongue and Joel fought hard against uttering a curse beneath his breath. He tossed his spoon down and gulped some water to ease his scorched mouth. He’d let his supper cool down before he attempted to eat any more. Trouble was he didn’t have anything else to do to distract himself from his dark thoughts.

  What was Evelyn thinking, asking him to agree to a marriage of convenience? His jaw worked tight again. If he did marry someday, it would be for love. Not simply to have a child to pass on his name. He wanted to marry the right woman, someone who loved him as deeply and passionately as he did her. Evelyn certainly wasn’t that woman. Though he couldn’t deny an attraction to her, she was Ralph’s, the mother of his child. His best friend would be first and foremost in her heart, and Joel didn’t want to play second fiddle to Ralph’s memory. No matter how guilty he felt over Ralph’s death.

  He absently stirred his stew, hoping to cool it faster. Now that he’d refused Evelyn’s proposal, what would she do? She couldn’t hide her pregnancy forever, which meant she’d eventually be discharged and have to confess the news to her grandparents. The ever-present guilt rose up, scalding him as effectively as his stew a moment ago.

  At least Ralph had planned to make an honest woman of her. Unlike Les’s father. Would Evelyn and her child end up like Vivian and Les if Joel didn’t help them?

  At eighteen, Vivian had been driven from her childhood home shortly after Les’s birth by the aunt who’d raised her for several years. She lived with neighbors for a time, but eventually she and her son were forced to move on, relying on the generosity of others. Joel’s mother and father heard of her plight from someone at church and offered her a place to stay as long as she liked.

  Having a roof overhead and a kind family to belong to didn’t completely erase the haunted look from Vivian’s pretty eyes or end her quiet sobs, which Joel could hear through the walls when she thought everyone was asleep. He’d often wondered what sort of heartache and trials she’d experienced before coming to live with them.

  In his last letter from Vivian, who was married and settled in another county back home with her husband and four other children, she’d written to say Les had run away and she didn’t know where he had gone. Her anguish had been palpable in every penned word.

  Deep regret cut through Joel at the thought of the little boy who’d been his constant companion, now a fifteen-year-old kid, roaming the world in hopes of finding his place. Would that happen with Ralph and Evelyn’s child? Would Evelyn’s grandparents kick her out as Vivian’s relatives had done?

  “It’s not my problem,” he muttered under his breath.

  “You say somethin’, Campbell?” Sergeant Dennis asked.

  Joel gave a noncommittal grunt. “How’s the stew?”

  Dennis loudly slurped a spoonful. “Not bad. Beats the mess at the front lines, huh?” He laughed at his own remark, clearly not caring when Joel didn’t join in. “What’s got you riled up tonight? You and that other nurse—what’s her name?—Nurse Gray have a falling-out?”

  “A falling-out?” His friend’s perceptiveness annoyed him nearly as much as Evelyn’s crazy idea about marrying. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said before shoveling a bite into his mouth.

  “All right. You play that card. But I got eyes. And the two of you seem to be thick as thieves sometimes. Not that I mind.” His gaze followed Nurse Thornton’s movements across the room. “Just wish I knew how to get her to talk to me like that one talks to you.”

  “It’s not…” Joel let his words fade out. He couldn’t explain things to Sergeant Dennis. He’d promised Evelyn he wouldn’t say anything, and he wouldn’t break that promise, no matter how frustrated he might feel.

  Companionable silence fell between him and Dennis as they ate. Joel almost wished the guy would keep talking—it would keep his mind occupied on something else besides Evelyn.

  She’d just have to find help elsewhere.

  Joel cringed at his own callousness. Ralph had been his best friend, and if Joel had made a different decision the other day, his buddy might have made it back to Evelyn. But Ralph’s death—and Joel’s part in it—had robbed her of that chance. Did that mean he was obligated to help her? The possibility chafed at his already troubled mind.

  He plunked his spoon down a second time, his bowl only half-empty, and placed his tray at his side. Even his bird notebook, with its fascinating notes and sketches, couldn’t hold his attention.

  If things had been reversed and he’d been in Ralph’s position…Joel mentally shook his head. He doubted he would have found himself in Ralph and Evelyn’s position. But what if there had been a special girl in his life—a dear friend or wife—and he was killed, would he want Ralph to look after her? Perhaps. Although he suspected his family would want to help as well.

  His parents had welcomed Vivian all those years ago and had accepted Livy’s German-American husband. They even treated Tom’s fiancée, Nora, much like the daughter-in-law she would’ve been if he hadn’t been killed. But who would look after Evelyn and her child when her grandparents eventually passed on? She had no other family—no parents or siblings, as he did, to rely on.

  Joel ran a hand through his hair in agitation. He’d been so certain when he left her sitting outside, with her shocked expression, that he was the one in the right. No one would expect him to take her as his wife.

  Then how come he felt so blasted guilty for making her figure things out on her own?

  “You ever wonder why the good things you want aren’t necessarily what God wants?” He didn’t realize he’d voiced the question out loud until Dennis chuckled.

  “You askin’ me for religious advice, Campbell?”

  Joel ignored his friend’s remark and instead considered his own question. He’d always thought marrying and having a big family were in line with God’s plan for his life. Now he wasn’t so sure. Did God want him to help Evelyn, possibly even marry her?

  He blew out a frustrated sigh at the prospect. “So we go along with God’s will, whether we want to or not?”

  Dennis threw back his head and laughed. “I’ve been doing the opposite. But I ain’t convinced it’s gettin’ me what I want. Maybe we
both oughta try the other approach. Kind of like that guy who ran away from God. The one who got swallowed by that whale.”

  “Jonah?” As a kid, Joel had loved that story.

  “Yeah—that’s the one. He didn’t want to go preach in that town like God wanted him to, so he upped and took off. We know how that turned out.” Dennis twisted to face Joel. “I’m guessin’ he figured out real quick down in the gut of that smelly, cold whale that doing what God wanted was a heck of a lot better than doing what he wanted. Then when he finally did get to preaching like God asked—”

  “Things turned out for the best.” Nurse Thornton stood between their two beds, her face a mixture of surprise and reflection. How long had she been listening? “Are you talking religion, Sergeant Dennis?” Joel noted she only had eyes for his friend at that moment.

  Dennis’s face went bright red. “I…um…”

  “I admire a man who isn’t afraid to talk about God.” With that she marched away, but Joel caught the slight smile on her face before she’d faced forward.

  “Looks like you just found a way to get on her good side, Dennis.” Joel shook his head good-naturedly.

  “Gimme that Bible, Campbell.” Dennis stuck out his hand, but his attention was still focused on Nurse Thornton.

  Joel fished the Bible out from under his bag—he hadn’t opened it in several days—and handed it over. He didn’t let go right away, though. Instead he waited for Dennis to look at him. “Don’t go luring her into a friendship with false pretenses.” He’d seen firsthand what could happen when things went too far between a soldier and a nurse, and he didn’t want that happening to Nurse Thornton, no matter how great a guy Dennis might be.

  “I don’t plan to.” Dennis’s usual flippant mood had disappeared, his expression somber. “If I can get her to talk to me—even about religion—instead of yellin’ at me, I’ll be happy.”