Hope Rising Page 17

  “Please, Joel,” she whispered into the silence. “Tell me. Did he suffer?”

  Opening his eyes, he cleared his throat. “If he did, it was very short. I don’t think he was conscious until we arrived at the field hospital.”

  “Did he say anything else before he died?”

  “I think he wanted me to find you.”

  Her dark eyes widened. “Really?”

  Joel nodded, unable to say more. If he shared any more of the memories, he would tell too much and then he’d lose her. Despite the openness and trust on her beautiful face at this moment, Joel knew she’d never forgive him if she learned he was responsible for putting Ralph in harm’s way. And losing Evelyn would be like losing Rose all over again, only worse. His feelings for her were growing in a way they never had for his high school sweetheart.

  Evelyn reached up and placed her hand alongside his cheek. He tried to resist leaning into her touch, but it was futile. She offered him a tear-filled smile. “Thank you. For being Ralph’s friend…and for being mine.”

  The desire to kiss her filled him, even stronger than the other day. He released her waist to rub his thumb over those tantalizing lips. They felt as soft and supple as he’d imagined. Evelyn inhaled a quick breath, her eyes staring directly at his. It would be so easy for him to claim his kiss, and yet he couldn’t take advantage of her grief. Especially when a good portion of it wasn’t just for the soldier who’d died tonight, but for Ralph.

  He lowered his hand to his side and stepped backward, creating needed distance between them. “We’d better head back.”

  Evelyn dipped her chin in agreement. She no longer appeared sorrowful but disappointed. Did she want him to kiss her? If so, what did that say about her lingering feelings for Ralph?

  After brushing the tears from her face once more, she secured her nurse’s cap back on her head. “I should probably go first. You can follow in a few minutes.” She walked past him, then turned and placed her hand on his arm. “Thank you again, Joel. For listening to me and for helping Louis. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  “Same time, same place,” he said in jest as if they were really courting.

  Her mouth curved upward in a genuine smile. “I may not be able to come walking in the afternoon, since we might have more surgeries. But I’ll meet you here once I’m off in the evening.”

  “I’ll be waiting.”

  She waved good-bye and moved back up the path toward the hospital. Emptiness settled into his chest. He didn’t feel quite as content when they weren’t together.

  Joel ran his hand over his face and picked up his cane. How could he have allowed himself to fall for the wrong girl? If Ralph had lived, it would have been him holding Evelyn tonight as she cried. Not Joel. She and Ralph would have married, and Joel would have been left to find some other girl after the war. The thought depressed him as he retraced his steps back toward the hospital. But I am here, with her. So what do I do, Lord?

  He had only five more days to figure it out.

  Chapter 11

  Think you can keep up?” Evelyn called over her shoulder.

  She was keenly aware of Joel coming up the path behind her. His nearness brought the prickle of awareness along her skin, the increased thudding of her pulse, the twist of her stomach that was both unsettling and pleasant. The feeling wasn’t foreign—she’d experienced it with Ralph—but it was different with Joel. Was it stronger, deeper? She couldn’t say, but the emotion had only increased as they’d met in the woods the last two evenings to walk and talk.

  “Are you issuing an order?”

  She laughed at his determined tone and breathed in deeply of the forest scent. Nowhere else did she feel such peace. If only these past few days could last forever. But Joel would be leaving for the convalescent home in two more days—and he still hadn’t given her any indication of whether he planned to marry her or not.

  Evelyn blew out a sigh. She didn’t want to spend their remaining time together worrying, but she couldn’t keep her fears completely at bay. At night especially, she often lay awake for an hour or two, thinking. With one hand cradling her stomach, she would imagine what it might be like to be married to Joel.

  There’d been times the last week when she sensed his growing affection for her, when she felt certain he would agree to her plan. And yet something held him back. He was being cautious for some unknown reason, and that frightened her the most.

  “Come on, Joel. You can’t expect to get stronger if you can’t—”

  He caught her from behind with surprising strength, his arm around her rib cage. “You were saying?” he murmured in her ear.

  Evelyn’s heartbeat thrummed loudly in her ears. Could he hear it? Was this the moment he’d declare his feelings, his intentions? She turned slowly in his grip until she stood facing him within the circle of his arm. The look of desire in his hazel eyes made her breath catch. He had to love her, but would he admit it?

  Perhaps if she confessed her feelings first.

  “Joel, I…” Fear stole the moisture from her mouth. What if he didn’t feel the same about her? She wet her lips.

  He released her waist and reached up to stroke her cheek as he’d done the other day. Evelyn shut her eyes as she pressed her face into his touch. His recent actions seemed to suggest he cared for her a great deal. He had also become a good friend to Louis, which endeared him to her all the more.

  Opening her eyes, she summoned her courage to speak the truth. “I loved Ralph…” His hand froze on her cheek and the familiar caution entered his eyes. Evelyn hurried to explain. “We only knew each other a week, but if he’d lived, I believe we would have been happy.”

  Joel fell back a step, frowning, his jaw locked like iron. She was making a mess of this, but she needed it all said in order to help him understand her feelings now.

  Evelyn took hold of his hand and ran her thumb over the masculine lines. “What I’m trying to say is that as much as I cared for Ralph, and still do to some degree, I…” She forced her gaze to meet his. The guarded expression was still there, but the muscles in his face had begun to relax. “I think I’m falling in love with y—”

  A noise in the brush behind them interrupted her declaration. Evelyn whirled toward the sound. Was someone following them? Had her words been overheard? Sweet relief washed over her as she realized the intruder was likely Louis.

  “Louis?” she called. “Come on out.”

  The boy didn’t appear, but the crack of branches disrupted the quiet of the woods again.

  “Maybe he’s hoping we’ll play hide-and-go-seek again,” Joel said with a smile.

  “You’re probably right.” She set off down the trail, Joel following behind. “All right, Louis. We’ll come find you.”

  Evelyn peered on either side of the path for a glimpse of the dark-headed imp. He’d hidden well. She turned to tell Joel that she would strike out into the trees to look for the boy, when she saw a figure step onto the path ahead of them.

  She spun to face Louis. “There you…” The words died in her throat.

  The person standing less than ten feet away was not Louis. A young man stared back at Evelyn, sporting a bandage around one eye and dried blood near the middle of his German uniform. However, it was the gun pointed at her chest that brought icy prickles of fear coursing through her veins.

  * * *

  Why had Evelyn stopped? Joel glanced over her head to see a soldier blocking the path ahead of them. Maybe someone else from the hospital had discovered their path through the woods. He lifted his hand in greeting until he saw the German uniform and the pistol aimed at Evelyn. His heart ceased beating for a moment, then began pumping faster as he realized they were at the mercy of a deserter.

  Joel shot a look at Evelyn, standing as still as a statue. He had to get between her and that gun. For the first time since coming to the hospital, he wished he still had his weapon. How was he supposed to protect Evelyn without it?

  Keeping an eye on
the soldier, Joel took a step forward. The young man immediately barked out, “Halt!”

  Joel stopped. He let his cane fall to the ground and lifted both arms in the air, at least as well as he could with the left one still in a sling. When he felt certain the soldier wasn’t going to shoot him right away, he lowered his arms.

  How had the young man ended up here, far from the trenches? Were there others nearby, or had he struck out alone? Uncertainty brewed to anger in Joel’s gut. How dare this soldier pull a gun on them. Hadn’t he and Evelyn suffered enough at the hands of the German Army? The lifeless faces of Tom and Ralph loomed large in his mind. He’d lost more than his two best friends in the last few months. His dream of a large family had been ripped from him, too.

  His good hand formed a fist as he contemplated how quickly he could spring forward and pound the guy to the ground before the gun was fired. He pressed his feet into the path in preparation.

  The young man’s hands shook where he gripped the gun and his uncovered eye was wide with fear. Joel guessed he couldn’t be much older than fifteen—the same age as his brother Allen back at home. The realization had Joel uncurling his fist and relaxing his stance ever so slightly. He’d served long enough at the front lines to know it wasn’t a place for someone who was only a kid.

  He sent a silent and fervent plea heavenward for help, then moved to Evelyn’s side. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her, even if it meant jumping in front of a bullet.

  “Halt,” the young man repeated. He took a menacing step forward.

  Talk to him.

  Joel didn’t question the inspired thought. “You hurt?” he asked, touching his forehead.

  The soldier didn’t respond.

  “You need a hospital. Krankenhaus.”

  The young man dropped the pistol a few inches. “Krankenhaus?”

  Joel nodded. “The Krankenhaus is back that way.” He pointed over his shoulder. “They will give you help. Hilfe.”

  “Please,” Evelyn coaxed, speaking for the first time since they’d stumbled upon the soldier. “We can help you at the hospital. Fix your wound.” She touched her stomach to indicate the bloodied spot on the young man’s coat.

  He studied them through his one eye.

  “Let’s get you some medical care and food at the Krankenhaus. Okay?” Joel hazarded a step toward the young man. What was his story? Had he wanted to fight? Did he have a family back in Germany?

  At Joel’s movement, the soldier hoisted the gun, its barrel still aimed at Evelyn. His face hardened once more. He gestured to the bandage around his head with his free hand, then at them, all the while speaking in rapid German that Joel didn’t understand.

  “We only want to help—to hilfe.” Joel held out his hand. “Come with us.”

  His gaze locked on the young man’s. The boy might be a complete stranger, but the pain, grief, and fear in his visible eye were a familiar companion to Joel. Which emotion would win out? Would the soldier come to the hospital or shoot them out of panic? Joel’s muscles tensed, ready to spring in front of Evelyn the moment the gun fired.

  The soldier finally broke eye contact to frantically search the trees. The next moment he pitched headlong into the brush at the side of the trail.

  Joel shielded Evelyn with his back, in case the young man fired the gun as he ran away. After a minute, the noise of crashing footsteps faded and the forest resumed its former stillness.

  “Joel?”

  He turned at the plaintive whisper. Evelyn’s face had drained of color and her shoulders were trembling. He pulled her to him, wrapping his right arm around her for warmth. She clutched the back of his shirt with both hands.

  “I—I’ve never been so scared.” She shuddered.

  “It’s okay,” he murmured against her hair. “Everything’s okay now.”

  He released her waist to run his hand over her silky curls. Now that the danger had passed, exhaustion replaced his earlier adrenaline. What would become of the young man? Hopefully he wouldn’t end up shot. Joel cringed at the thought.

  Evelyn shifted, lifting her chin to look at him. “Are you all right?”

  Her dark eyes, full of openness and concern, caught and held his attention. She might have been killed, or at the very least, seriously wounded if the soldier had fired his pistol. The realization made Joel’s stomach twist in horror. He didn’t want to imagine Evelyn hurt or, worse, out of his life for good.

  Telling himself he needed to be certain she was fine, he cupped her face with his hand and caressed the returning color to her cheek. Her skin felt warm and velvety beneath his fingers. The yearning to kiss her rushed over him, and this time Joel didn’t have the willpower to squelch it. Not after what they’d just been through.

  He bent forward and brushed his lips against hers, enjoying the way they yielded to him. When Evelyn didn’t pull away, he deepened his kiss, pouring all his fears and hopes into his touch. Evelyn kissed him back with equal adoration, her hands moving to rest against his chest. How could he have ever considered leaving this place without a promise to return to her?

  Joel released her mouth long enough to kiss her nose, her eyelids, her forehead, before claiming her lips again. In that moment he felt free of guilt and grief. The war, the deaths of Tom and Ralph, his near departure from the hospital all faded away as he kissed Evelyn.

  Several long minutes later, he eased back. He couldn’t bear to relinquish all contact with her, though, so he brushed the curl from her brow and let his fingers linger on her face. If holding her the other day had felt natural, then kissing her was surely what he was meant to do forever.

  “Marry me, Evelyn.” He chuckled at his own abruptness and tried again. “Evelyn Gray, will you be my wife?”

  Her eyes widened. “You mean that?”

  He caressed her lower lip with his thumb. “Every word. I’ll make certain this baby wants for nothing.”

  Instead of the happiness he expected, her expression clouded and she glanced away. “The baby, of course.”

  Lifting her chin, Joel kissed her quickly. “You know I mean you, too. I don’t want to leave here unless I know you’re going to be waiting for me.”

  Some of the apprehension in her eyes disappeared at his reassurance. “Will you be able to come back before you return to the front? For the wedding?”

  “I should have at least a day. But we might want to find someone close by to perform the ceremony. Maybe the village priest or something.”

  “Do you want it performed in a church?”

  He nodded. “Is that all right with you?”

  She hesitated, then dipped her chin in agreement. “I suppose that’s all the planning then. Unless you can think of anything else we need to discuss.”

  Tell her about Ralph.

  The unexpected thought set Joel’s heart thumping as fast as it had been minutes ago. He ought to share everything with her, before they left the intimacy of the woods, before she fully agreed to marry him. He cleared his throat. “There is one other thing…”

  “Yes?” She peered up at him, expectation written on her face.

  The words stuck in his throat like a piece of meat too large to swallow. How could he dash her happiness and incur her anger or hatred? How could he confess to being responsible for Ralph’s death—the very event that had brought him to this point and had enabled him to ask Evelyn to marry him?

  Evelyn frowned at his silence. “Is something wrong?”

  He shook his head as he slipped his hand into hers. “You forgot something. I don’t believe you said ‘yes’—officially.”

  A smile smoothed out the worry lines. “Yes, I agree to marry you, Joel.”

  “I’m glad to hear it.” He planted another lingering kiss on her lips. “We probably ought to get you back. Would you mind getting my cane?”

  She picked up the cane where he’d dropped it and handed it to him. “Thanks for agreeing to help.” She blushed again. “I mean, for asking me.”

  The g
ratitude and admiration emanating from her cut straight through Joel, resurrecting his guilt. Thankfully she went ahead of him up the path, so she couldn’t see the shame he felt certain burned on his face. He hated the idea of starting their life together with a haunting secret between them, but he wasn’t about to lose the woman he’d suddenly discovered he cared for more than anyone else in the world.

  Chapter 12

  The creak of the bureau drawer opening and shutting pulled Evelyn from sleep. She couldn’t have been asleep for more than a few hours—she’d spent most of the night thinking about Joel’s departure today.

  She opened her eyes to find Alice bolting for the door, carrying her clothes and shoes. “Alice?” Evelyn called out, rising up on one elbow.

  The only response came from the solid click of the door. With a sigh, Evelyn dropped back onto the bed. She felt horrible for hurting Alice’s feelings, but her roommate refused to let her apologize. Alice was either gone when Evelyn awoke in the morning or asleep when Evelyn came in at night. If they passed each other in the hospital, she acted as if Evelyn weren’t there.

  Evelyn still worried about her, but she’d observed Alice’s interactions with Sergeant Dennis and had found their outward friendship to be above reproach. She’d hoped to tell Alice so, but that seemed more and more unlikely as the strain between them dragged on.

  Throwing off her blanket, Evelyn sat up and explored the bump of her stomach. It felt a little larger today than the day before. Thank goodness Joel was going to marry her in two weeks. Everything was working out well. That is, if she could get through bidding Joel good-bye today.

  She dressed and ran a brush through her curls. After placing her nurse’s cap on her head, she paused to stare at herself in the bureau mirror. Her hair and eyes were the same coffee color as they’d always been, her skin the same milky tone, though slightly tanned from her time outdoors.