Lady Outlaw Page 17

  So how can I go through with this? he asked himself, glancing over his shoulder at Nathan’s bent head. Help me do right, Lord.

  A new idea emerged from his troubled thoughts—a way to keep his promise, but also keep the man from implicating Jennie if Caleb turned him over to the sheriff. As much as Caleb disliked Jennie’s choices, he hated even more the thought of her being put away behind bars and leaving her grandmother and Will to fend for themselves. Standing, he stuck his gun against Nathan’s back and leaned forward over the man’s shoulder.

  “Howdy, Mr. Blaine.”

  Nathan lifted his chin slowly and shot a glance up at Caleb. “Howdy. You’re Jennie’s hired hand.” He turned to the girl beside him whose face had gone white. Even if she couldn’t see the gun in Caleb’s hand, she clearly sensed he wasn’t being friendly. “Is this some jealous rampage?”

  “No.” Caleb allowed a mirthless laugh. “This is actually your lucky day...” He bent toward Nathan’s ear and whispered, “Black-Eyed Blaine.”

  The color drained from Nathan’s face and he frowned. “Will you excuse us, Bette? No need to look so alarmed, love. This here’s a business meeting.”

  The girl eyed them both before climbing to her feet. She walked away, throwing them one last glance over her shoulder. When she was out of earshot, Nathan demanded, “What do you want?”

  Caleb shifted the gun barrel to the man’s side and slid into the seat next to him. “The way I see it is I’ve got enough information on you to see you jailed for life. Not just for robbing my fiancée’s stage three years ago and indirectly killing her.” Caleb paused as Nathan visibly swallowed hard. “But also working with Miss Jones to rob a lot of good people of their money.”

  “How’s this my lucky day then?”

  “Because I’m gonna let you go.”

  Nathan’s brow furrowed. “I don’t understand.”

  “Then I’ll make it real clear, Mr. Blaine.” Caleb pressed the gun farther into Nathan’s side to show he meant business. “You are going to leave this saloon in sixty seconds or less and then you are going to hightail it out of town. I don’t care where you go or what you do. But if I ever hear the name Nathan Blaine around here again or learn you’ve been mixing with stage thugs, I’ll have you arrested so fast you won’t have time to grab your boots. Is that clear enough?”

  Nathan gave a slow nod.

  Caleb rose to his feet and slipped his gun beneath his jacket again. “Now get up and walk out that door.”

  Nathan stood, his eyes meeting Caleb’s. “You were the one in that cabin, weren’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why’d you let me go twice?”

  Caleb frowned, fighting the urge to change his mind. “I guess you could say it has to do with redemption.”

  “Then I suppose you’d offer some to another?”

  Caleb didn’t know what he meant.

  “Miss Jones,” Nathan said, his voice thoughtful. “She’s not a criminal—not like me. Just desperate to hold on to the only thing she’s got left.”

  Caleb frowned. He didn’t care to discuss the matter with Nathan Blaine.

  “Much obliged.” Nathan gathered up his hat from off the table and put it on. With another nod to Caleb, he headed for the door.

  Blowing out his breath, Caleb sank back down in his chair. He’d come so close to breaking his vow, to giving in to the hate again. His limbs felt shaky. He allowed himself a few minutes to gather his strength again before he left the saloon. Nathan was nowhere to be seen, but his last words stayed with Caleb. Did Jennie really think the ranch was the only thing she had left? When he let himself think about it, he realized that she probably did. The ranch was her home, her legacy from her father and her opportunity to give her brother and grandmother a safe haven.

  Had he ever had anything in his life that mattered that much? Not until recently, Caleb realized. In fact, he’d spent the past three years running from everything that he used to consider valuable and important—his home, his family, the places that reminded him of the life he’d wanted to have. It was as if he’d thought by cutting all ties to the people and places that mattered to him, he could keep from getting hurt again.

  He’d been wrong—and so had Jennie. Running from any type of connection the way he had wasn’t the answer, and neither was clinging to the past, like Jennie. Maybe the best choice was to hold on to the things that really mattered—the people who really mattered. And for him, that was Jennie. But could he truly see past what she’d done—what she planned to do again?

  Caleb climbed onto Saul and started back for the ranch. Nathan’s words echoed in his mind about redemption for Jennie. Did she deserve it? Did I deserve it after letting vengeance rule my life?

  The question made him hang his head with sudden shame. If he had obtained forgiveness for his mistakes, then surely Jennie could, too. Somehow there had to be a way out of the mess things had become, for both of them.

  * * *

  The house stood dark, except for a light in the kitchen. Had Grandma Jones left a lamp on for him or was someone still up? He slipped inside and down the hallway to the kitchen. He froze when he saw Jennie seated at the table, a plate of untouched food before her. Should he talk with her or go to bed?

  Something prodded him forward and he stepped into the room. Jennie looked up, her eyes red-rimmed. “I thought you’d gone to sleep.”

  “Same.” He considered telling her about Nathan, but decided against it. She might be angry at him for sending Nathan away. “I went on a ride.”

  “Oh.” She pushed the food around her plate with her fork. “Are you still leaving in the morning?”

  “I guess that depends—on what you choose to do.”

  The hope in her countenance added to his own. Maybe they could set things right after all.

  “I’m sorry, Caleb. I still...I mean...I don’t expect you to understand. You probably don’t know what it’s like lying there at night, wondering how your family’s going to eat...” She stopped and took a deep breath as if to steady her voice. “How you’re going to survive the winter.”

  “I didn’t exactly grow up with great wealth, Jennie. My parents came here from Nebraska with only the few things they could cram into a wagon. They worked hard to make our farm what it is, and we worked right along beside them.”

  “I know. But I don’t have my parents to help or all those siblings like you. It’s just...me.” The sight of her lovely face etched with concern still made his heart pound, made him want to protect her—especially from herself.

  “It doesn’t have to be that way. You have your brother and your grandmother. And me.” He crossed to the table and took a seat. “I’ll always be your friend, Jennie. Always.”

  “Just a friend, huh?” Tears swam in her deep brown eyes.

  “You don’t have to go through with this robbery tomorrow. There has to be another way. We can still make a life together.”

  “I told you before. I can’t leave this ranch behind—not yet. Mr. Dixon will have to drag me off the property before I’ll abandon everything I’ve sacrificed for.”

  “Is that what this is about? Making sacrifices?” He leaned forward. “A sacrifice is only worth something if it’s right. Sacrificing your integrity, your happiness, your freedom—that won’t bring you anything but misery. I know, because I tried.”

  She rubbed at her temples. “Maybe you’re right. But haven’t you ever loved something so much you thought you might die if it was taken away?”

  “Yes,” he said. He stopped to swallow the lump in his throat. “You.”

  A soft cry escaped her lips before her face crumpled and she covered it with her hands. Caleb watched, helpless, for a minute as she cried, then he reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder. He could feel the quiet sobs shaking through her.

  In that moment of shared grief, Caleb knew with certainty that he loved her and he always would. His future would be bleak indeed without this redhead by his side.


  “Jennie, please look at me.”

  Slowly she lifted her head, agony burning in every feature.

  “I love you, despite everything you’ve told me.” He brushed a piece of hair from her damp cheek, her skin warm and soft beneath his touch. “Your friendship is dearer to me than anything I possess right now or hope to one day have. To show you I mean it, I have something to give you. Wait here.”

  Caleb hurried out of the kitchen and up the stairs. The wound from Jennie’s betrayal would take time to fully heal, but he was confident it would.

  He entered his room and pulled the leather pouch from underneath his mattress. Three hundred dollars wouldn’t be everything Jennie needed, but it would be a start. A start toward a future together.

  Chapter Seventeen

  A thud of footsteps brought up Jennie’s head. Grandma Jones pulled a shawl around her long nightgown and entered the kitchen.

  “I wanted to make sure you’d come in and gotten supper. Is Caleb back from his ride?”

  “Yes.” Jennie brushed at the tears on her face. “Thank you for saving me some flapjacks.”

  “You two have a fight?”

  Blushing, Jennie stuffed some food into her mouth and swallowed before answering, “I’m not sure what you mean.”

  Grandma Jones gave an amused snort. “Come on, Jennie girl, I know a lovers’ quarrel when I see one. First off, you two didn’t come into supper together like you usually do, and Caleb didn’t know where you were earlier. Second, your eyes are red from crying, no matter how hard you try to hide it.” She folded her arms over her nightgown. “You want to talk about it?”

  “No...maybe.”

  Her grandmother took the seat beside her, but Jennie was unsure where to start. Caleb’s tender words still rang in her ears—I love you. Your friendship is dearer to me than anything I possess right now or hope to one day have. Did she believe him? After all she’d confessed, would he really stay?

  Caleb reentered the kitchen before she could voice any of her confusing thoughts to Grandma Jones. His blue eyes appeared especially bright and he held something in one hand.

  “This is for you, Jennie.” He lifted a leather pouch.

  “What is it?”

  “Two hundred and ninety seven dollars.”

  “What?” Jennie choked out. Grandma Jones gave a soft gasp.

  Caleb pulled a thick wad of bills from the pouch. “I want you to use this to pay some of your debt against the ranch.” He set the cash on the table. “It won’t be enough to cover everything, but I’m sure we can come up with a way to earn the rest.”

  “But...” She brought her hands to her mouth as she stared in shock at the money. The money meant to fund Caleb’s freight business. She remembered the way his face had lit up when he talked about his plans. “But this is for your business. So you can have a fresh start.”

  “Not anymore.” He knelt in front of her. “Think about what you want, but remember we can do this—together.”

  She couldn’t form a reply. Red-hot shame burned her throat at his selfless offer.

  He stood, regarding her with a level look. “I’ll see you in the morning.” His words were full of confidence that she’d make the right decision. “Good night, ladies.”

  “Good night, Caleb,” Grandma Jones called after him.

  Jennie watched Caleb leave and felt a piece of her going with him. She stared down at the stack of money before her.

  Almost three hundred dollars.

  She couldn’t quite believe the answer to most of her troubles sat in front of her. She imagined walking into the bank, head held high as she plunked the cash onto Mr. Dixon’s desk. Where would they get the rest to pay off her loan in time, though?

  There was more cash in the bunkhouse that she could combine with Caleb’s money, but Jennie quickly pushed the idea from her mind. She had to do things right this time if she wanted Caleb to stay, which meant giving back the stolen money to the rightful owners. She would have to find some other way to make up the difference.

  For the first time in months, Jennie allowed herself to imagine being free of her debt. No more robberies, no more lies, no more being alone. Yet her freedom wouldn’t come without a price. Her ranch, for Caleb’s dream.

  Happy memories from the past six weeks flitted through her mind: Caleb helping her on the trail, watching him learn to be a cowboy, making him laugh, kissing him for the first time, talking of their lives and their feelings for each other.

  “You ready to talk?” Grandma Jones asked.

  Jennie had almost forgotten her grandmother sitting there. She pushed aside her plate, her stomach too wound in knots to eat. She fingered one of the bills. “I think I’ve made a terrible mistake, Grandma.”

  “Oh, honey.” Grandma Jones tipped up Jennie’s chin, her eyes warm and caring. “That’s what life’s about. You start down one path and realize you should have taken another. The important thing is recognizing when you need to switch.”

  Jennie set down the bills and took a steadying breath.

  “Did you ever make any big mistakes?” she asked as she stood and took her plate to the sink.

  Grandma Jones laughed. “I’ve made hundreds and hundreds of little ones—like we all do. Made my share of big ones, too—like leaving home so young and writing only sporadically. I didn’t even make it back to Illinois after my mother’s death. I don’t know if my father and sisters ever quite forgave me that.” She clasped her hands together and rested them on the table. “But there’s one decision I still shudder to think I almost got wrong.”

  “What was it?”

  “I almost didn’t marry your grandfather.”

  Jennie whirled around. “What happened?”

  “That’s a long story.” Her grandmother smiled and nodded at Jennie’s vacant chair. Jennie returned to her seat. Anticipation tingled through her, nearly erasing her worries—this wasn’t a story she’d heard before. “I met your grandpa when I was finishing up my third year of teaching. We courted some, and I liked him very much. But I decided to accept my aunt’s offer to spend the summer traveling with her.

  “I’d always wanted to go to Europe and New York City. Then your grandfather started talking marriage and settling down. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to marry him, but I also felt this was my one and only chance to see the world. So I told him he’d have to wait until I came home to marry me.”

  “Did you go and see all those places?” Jennie tried to picture seeing the ocean or a castle, things she’d only read about in her grandmother’s collection of books.

  Grandma Jones shook her head, her gaze distant. “I never went. When I climbed aboard the steamboat to leave, I had the strongest feeling I needed to get right back off, find Matthew Jones and accept his hand in marriage.” She shrugged her thin shoulders. “That’s what I did. We were married a week later. He was such a faith-filled man—always sharing his love of the Lord with others. I don’t know if I would have grown as close to God as I have if I hadn’t married your grandfather.” She traced a grain in the tabletop. When she spoke again, her voice sounded full of unshed tears, “Not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for nudging me hard enough to get off that boat.”

  “Didn’t you regret not seeing all those lovely places, though?”

  Her grandmother lifted her chin. “Sometimes. The only places I’ve seen since then have been mostly wilderness.” She chuckled. “But usually the hardest thing to do is the right one. I know now that the people and the God I love are far more important to me than seeing Paris or London.”

  Jennie rested her chin on her hands. She hadn’t put God and the people in her life ahead of material things, like the ranch. A new wave of remorse ran through her.

  “I’m sorry, Grandma.”

  “Whatever for?” Grandma Jones reached over and gave Jennie’s arm a gentle squeeze.

  “You must have missed going to church all these years.”

  “Yes, but I knew it’d be h
ard for you to return—at least until you were ready.”

  “It’s not that I stopped believing in God. I just didn’t want to hear the rumors about my mother. I didn’t want to face seeing the possible truth in the eyes of all those people whispering about her.” Jennie lowered her hands to the table. “I couldn’t face feeling responsible for her leaving.”

  “Now, Jennie girl. Nothing they said is true. And you certainly weren’t at fault for your mama leaving.” She rubbed Jennie’s arm. “Your mother left because she couldn’t handle life out here anymore. She loved your father, but she didn’t share his dream of building a home out here in the West. She went along with it, moved from one place to another, starting over again and again without complaining, but she couldn’t be truly happy that way.” Grandma Jones released a sigh. “She wasn’t used to that kind of life, not after growing up in a wealthy house with everything she needed in easy reach. She still loved you and Will and your father, though. She told me so the night before she left. She just had to figure out what she truly needed to be happy. I think if she hadn’t taken ill, she might have come back and done just fine.”

  Jennie sniffed back fresh tears. “I’d like to think so.”

  Grandma Jones pulled Jennie onto her knees and gave her a fierce hug. Jennie embraced her and then rested her head in her grandmother’s lap. “Your mother did have a backbone on her. Don’t think she didn’t. To start over like that, you have to have something in you. You’ve gotten that from both your parents.” She stroked Jennie’s hair. “You’re strong, Jennie. But don’t make the mistake of being so strong you forget to let others help you. We all need that.”

  Jennie swiped at her runny nose with her hand and nodded. She’d tried to be strong for so long, but she’d done it alone. Now she needed help, and surely she could be humble enough to ask.