The Keeper of Her Heart Read online

  When his lips sought hers, she wasn’t startled or disappointed. His touch was tentative and questioning, though deliciously wonderful at the same time. It had been ages since she’d last kissed a man, and that had been Ned.

  Banishing those thoughts to the back of her mind, Ada threaded her arms around Hugh’s neck. He deepened their kiss, and its tenderness strengthened the unevenness of her pulse.

  Too soon he eased back. “There is something I need to confess.” His thumb trailed her cheek. “It’s what I wished to say earlier.”

  “What is it?” she asked as she pressed her face to his chest.

  When he encircled her in his arms, she sighed with contentment. Had she unconsciously wished for this new turn in their relationship? She couldn’t say for certain, and yet, she also couldn’t imagine being held like this by anyone else.

  “Are you going to tell me?” She lifted her head to give him an encouraging smile.

  There was no levity in his expression, though. “Yes.” His next words were spoken quietly, but they rumbled in her ears as loudly as thunder. “I wish to marry you, Ada.”

  She froze within his embrace. Confusion, and a sliver of dread, kept her from replying.

  “I admired you from afar for years,” Hugh continued, his voice beseeching her to understand. “And though I have tried to deny it, those feelings have only grown more pronounced since you came home last summer.”

  Ada stepped back, her fingers rising to her lips. They still tingled from his fervent kiss. Hugh had harbored feelings for her for years?

  “But . . . why didn’t you say anything back then?”

  He spread his arms in a helpless gesture. “By the time I felt I could, you were already in love with Ned.”

  A shiver that had less to do with the cold and more to do with her muddled emotions ran through her. She folded her arms against it.

  “Is this about saving Stonefield?” She glanced down at the tree roots near their feet, afraid of the answer. Hugh hadn’t brought up marriage as a solution to her troubles since last October. “I told you that I would not marry for money.”

  He narrowed the short distance between them and softly nudged her chin upward until she was looking at him again. “This has nothing to do with Stonefield, unless you wish to use my money to help save it.” The earnest light in his gaze made her grateful she had the tree trunk at her back for support. “This is about my heart, Ada, and my deep, resounding love for you.”

  My deep, resounding love. Those were nearly the same words she’d used last fall in describing the kind of love she’d had with Ned, the kind of love she wanted again if she married a second time. That Hugh had remembered her exact wording brought tears to her eyes.

  This time his kiss was firm and full of hope. “I know you still mourn Ned and I respect that,” he said, inching back. Ada’s heart beat so hard in her chest she felt certain Hugh could hear it. “But I want more than friendship from you. I want to know you as my wife, and God willing, as the mother to our own children.”

  “And if I don’t . . .” Her voice broke.

  Hugh caressed her lower lip, his expression one of love and hopefulness but also anguish. Then he straightened and put his hat back on. “If you don’t, I will understand. But I cannot keep living this way. Either deny my proposal and set me free or accept my hand in marriage.”

  “May I have time to think about it?” she managed to ask over the tears clogging her throat.

  He gave an immediate nod. “Why don’t you take tomorrow and Tuesday off from work? You can give me your answer after that.”

  “Thank you.” She was grateful she wouldn’t have to pretend at work as if nothing had changed between them, when everything had. Another thought left her frowning. If she didn’t accept his proposal, how would she manage interacting with him at the factory afterward? Perhaps it was time for Hugh to find a new secretary.

  The moment he started across the field, she dropped to the moist ground beneath the tree, chilled and troubled. She couldn’t imagine her life without Hugh. But could she marry him? Could she risk her heart like that again?

  “Please, Lord,” Ada whispered as the first of her tears slid down her cheeks and off her trembling chin. “Help me know what to do.”

  • • •

  As he walked away, Hugh did his best not to hang his head in regret and fear. He’d been honest with Ada about his feelings, at long last, and in doing so had rid himself of a great weight.

  That he loved her had no longer been a question in his mind for weeks now. Though he’d been praying and asking God for help with what to do with such a realization.

  The answer that had come—to share his feelings with her—had been both welcome and frightening.

  Still, he might not have had the courage to voice his thoughts today if Ada hadn’t unexpectedly caressed his face. In that moment, Hugh couldn’t have held back his heart from her if he’d wanted, and so he had kissed her. And the splendor of that kiss had bolstered his bravery.

  He’d expected her shock and even the need for time to contemplate his proposal, but part of him had foolishly hoped she would accept him on the spot. There was still the real possibility of her saying no. Which meant he might lose the only woman he’d ever loved—again. But he couldn’t keep silent any longer.

  “What’s done is done,” he said, half in thought, half in prayer. “It’s in Thy hands now, Father.”

  He loved Ada, more deeply now than he ever had in the past, but he wouldn’t be praying over the next few days that she’d agree to become his wife. No, he’d be praying that whatever her answer, he would have the strength, the courage, and the compassion to accept it.

  Chapter 21

  The next morning, after seeing Rosemary off to school, Ada walked to her grandmother’s. She wasn’t entirely sure who she wished to unburden yesterday’s events to—Gran or Minnie. She hadn’t shared Hugh’s proposal with her mother yet. That didn’t mean she’d stopped thinking about it, though. On the contrary, it had been the only thing on her mind the rest of the day and evening, leaving her with little appetite and a night spent tossing and turning.

  It wasn’t until Gran’s modest estate came into view that Ada knew whose advice she needed most today. She knocked on the open door of the kitchen, knowing Minnie would be there instead of in her cottage at this hour. “Morning,” she said as she entered.

  “Miss Ada!” Molly O’Reilly glanced up from the castle she’d constructed out of wooden blocks.

  Minnie paused in her work at the large preparation table in the center of the room to smile at Ada, her surprise evident. “What are you doing ’ere this time of day? Aren’t you supposed to be at the factory?”

  Ada feigned a smile as she shrugged. “I have the day off and wondered if you and Molly might be able to join me for a walk?”

  “Everything all right?” Minnie eyed her shrewdly.

  She glanced at Molly, who was watching them. “Mostly, yes.”

  “Say no more,” her friend said with a knowing look. “Let me just get this ’ere pie in the oven and then you’ve got us for thirty minutes.”

  Even a short time with her oldest and dearest friend would be a boon. “That would be wonderful.”

  Minnie nodded, then bustled about finishing her tasks, while Molly chattered away. When the pie was in the oven, Minnie removed two hats from the pegs by the door. She put one on Molly and the other on herself. Ada led the way outside.

  “Is that the hat you wore to the party?” she asked as she and Minnie traversed the drive. She wasn’t quite yet ready to confess her true reason for her visit, even when Molly ran ahead, out of earshot.

  Minnie touched the brim, smiling. “It is. Do you like it?” Ada nodded. “It’s new and Thomas says I look for any excuse to wear it. Even on a little ol’ walk.” She chuckled. “But ’e’s right.”

  “Have you been happy here, Minnie?” Ada wasn’t sure why she’d voiced the question now, but for some reason she needed t
o know her friend had found true contentment in Yorkshire.

  Linking her arm through Ada’s, Minnie said, “We’re quite ’appy. Look at Molly there, runnin’ free and safe. My other bairns will get to do the same when they come ’ome from school today. Thomas and I both bring in steady money.” He was employed at the boot factory. “And your gran is a clever and kind woman.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.”

  When Ada fell silent, Minnie nudged her in the side. “What’s your real reason for comin’ out today? ’Sides askin’ about us and seein’ my new ’at?” She laughed lightly.

  Ada gazed over the fields spreading out on both sides of the country road. “Hugh wants to marry me,” she said without preamble.

  Minnie stopped walking, her eyes round with obvious shock. “When did ’e say that?”

  “Yesterday on our walk.” A fresh wave of confusion buffeted her. “He told me that he’d loved me in the past, before I married Ned, but I had no idea. Apparently he still loves me. Only I thought we were just friends. At least until we . . .” Her cheeks flushed and she let her voice trail out.

  “Kissed?” Minnie’s green eyes sparkled with delight. “And did you like it?”

  Ada’s blush deepened. “I don’t know.” Though that wasn’t entirely true. She began walking again. “Yes. I enjoyed it very much.”

  Minnie fell into step with her. “Then what’s the trouble?”

  “I didn’t have plans to marry again.” Ada brushed strands of her hair from her face, propelled there by the breeze. Up ahead, Molly paused to wait for them. When they drew closer, she dashed ahead, giggling.

  Her friend’s expression conveyed her deep-felt empathy. “But now?”

  “I care very much for him, Minnie.”

  “Do you love ’im?”

  Ada’s shoulders rose and fell in a helpless shrug. “There are moments when I feel I do, and others when I’m perfectly content to remain as we are.”

  “Will things stay that way, if’n you don’t choose to marry ’im?” Minnie asked perceptively.

  She shook her head, sadness slashing through her once more at the thought of no longer having Hugh’s friendship. “He confessed he can’t keep living as friends when he wishes for so much more.”

  “Can you blame ’im?”

  “No,” Ada admitted, glancing down at her shoes. “But I can’t imagine not having him in my life anymore either.”

  “Maybe that’s your answer then.”

  Ada kicked at a pebble. “Maybe. What would you do? If Thomas hadn’t made it back . . .”

  “I can’t see myself sharing my life with anyone but ’im,” Minnie answered after a moment. “Especially the ’ard bits.” She glanced at Ada. “But I don’t know as I would want to give up on lovin’ another man either, if Thomas ’adn’t come back. We’ve likely got years ahead of us, Ada. ’Ow do you wish to spend them?”

  The question pierced Ada to the core. How did she wish to spend the remaining years of her life? Alone with Rosemary and her mother at Stonefield Hall if they were able to keep the house? Or with someone who loved her and shared the same deep faith she now had?

  “I could lose him either way,” she blurted out, a shudder running through her. “I don’t know if I could bear that, Minnie.”

  Her friend left off walking to give her a hug. “We don’t know what the future ’olds. But remember all them times in London when we were brave, with’n God’s ’elp, of course?”

  She nodded against Minnie’s shoulder.

  “This time’s no different.” Minnie eased back, her mouth turned up in a comforting smile. “When do you give ’im your answer?”

  “The day after tomorrow.” Ada brushed at the damp corners of her eyes.

  “You’ll know what to do. You will.”

  Minnie’s reassurance wrapped itself around Ada like a warm blanket. She’d done the right thing by coming to talk to her friend.

  “Time to turn back, Molly,” Minnie called to her daughter. The little girl spun around and raced past them, back the way they’d come. “In the meantime, why don’t you ’ave some of my shortbread and a nice cup of tea. Those never ’urt when tryin’ to make up one’s mind.”

  Ada smiled. “Even if it ruins my appetite for lunch?”

  “Especially then.”

  She and Minnie exchanged a laugh. The burden around her heart felt lighter. She still had two days to decide what to tell Hugh, and she wouldn’t stop hoping and praying she’d know her answer by then.

  • • •

  Ada dreamt that night of the oak tree and the suffocating fog—it was the same dream she’d had years ago in Scotland before she and Ned had married. The same anticipation for Ned’s arrival filled her, followed by the confusion and fear when he didn’t. This time Ada even called his name, but the sound was swallowed up by the mist.

  Bracing herself against the tree’s trunk, she hung her head in defeat. Then her ears caught the sound of approaching footsteps. Her heart sped up and she lifted her chin. She peered through the fog to see who was coming. A tall figure appeared, hurrying through the mist toward her. Immediate relief replaced her worry.

  But it wasn’t Ned who approached—it was Hugh. Ada felt mild perplexity at this turn of events, and yet, the sight of Hugh’s warm smile and brown eyes was wonderfully familiar. A sense of security and anticipation wound through her as he scooped up her hand in his . . .

  She reluctantly awoke. Unlike the last time she’d had this dream, she didn’t want it to end. The same pleasant feelings of well-being and eagerness she’d felt at seeing Hugh lingered with her. Could the dream itself be her answer?

  Yesterday, she’d spent hours walking, thinking, praying. When her energy ran out before her usual work hours at the factory, she finally retraced her steps home. Her mother had been as surprised to see her as Minnie had. Ada had finally shared with her the news of Hugh’s proposal. Victoria had been nearly beside herself with excitement over the possibility of her daughter marrying Hugh Whittington.

  “Of course you would have to resign your position as his secretary,” she’d stated in a firm tone as she set aside the book she was reading. “But he can save Stonefield Hall, Ada.”

  “I am aware of that, Mama, but I will not accept his hand purely for financial gain.”

  “No one is saying otherwise.” Victoria threw her an exasperated look. “You seem to care for him, so agreeing to his proposal would simply be a matter of affection and money.”

  Is that what she wanted Hugh to think? That she’d married him for love as well as money? “We shall see,” she replied noncommittally.

  Victoria repeated her arguments twice more that evening, though thankfully not when Rosemary had been present. Ada merely nodded both times. She didn’t want to debate the matter further or waste energy trying to help her mother understand things Victoria likely wouldn’t.

  Pushing aside yesterday’s conversations, she clung to the memory from her dream. Eventually she drifted back to sleep.

  She woke several hours later. The sun had yet to make its appearance for the day. Staring in the direction of the bed’s canopy, Ada considered whether to sleep longer or rise, in spite of the early hour. The thought of lying in bed and then fielding her mother’s inevitable questions at breakfast sounded far less appealing than an early morning walk. Hopefully the exercise would help her solidify her thoughts into an answer.

  Throwing off her covers, Ada stood and dressed quickly. She scrawled a note to her mother, letting her and Rosemary know she’d stepped out, then she placed it on the floor outside Victoria’s bedroom door.

  She opted for a hat and coat this time instead of her sweater. The morning coolness that filled her lungs and washed over her cheeks made her grateful for the extra warmth. Gravel crunched underfoot as she made her way down the drive. The sun began its rise, touching her and the green world with its ever-increasing rays.

  Over the last day and a half, she’d gone back and forth between accept
ing Hugh’s proposal and letting go of his friendship. There were moments when the thought of marrying him put a schoolgirl grin on her face and others when doubt consumed her. Could she move on without him in her life? And if she couldn’t, was she brave enough to give love a second chance?

  Perhaps there were other widows in the world who were contemplating this same question at this moment. Ada found the notion comforting—she was likely not alone in wondering if she could risk giving her heart to another man.

  Almost unbidden, her feet turned and headed in the direction of the oak tree. The growing light of dawn lit her way as Ada breathed yet another prayer heavenward.

  Help me know what to do, Lord. I care deeply for Hugh. But is that enough? Is marriage to him the right path for me?

  How many times had she treaded this footpath on her way to meet Ned? Too many to count. It wasn’t hard to conjure up the same giddy feeling in her stomach that she’d had each time she made this walk, knowing who would be waiting for her at the end. Unbeknownst to her, though, another good man had been watching and waiting for her as well.

  A sudden thought struck her. If she had noticed Hugh back then and married him right away, she never would have left Yorkshire. She wouldn’t have known such wonderful years with Ned and Rosemary. Or met Minnie and her family. Or found herself in London and grown a deep, abiding faith.

  She was meant to marry Ned when she did.

  And what if Hugh had married in her absence? The possibility bothered her, even elicited a small tremor of jealousy. If he’d married, Ada would’ve been bereft of a close friend, someone she could wholly confide in and trust.

  “It’s more than that, though,” she chided out loud.

  She recalled their open, honest conversations, their bantering, their horse rides. It wasn’t difficult for her to remember how right and wonderful it had felt to be in Hugh’s arms the day of her father’s funeral and again during their kiss by the oak tree. Something deep within her, something stronger than friendship, now stirred inside her each time she interacted with him.